i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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