I bet he comes in French.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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