love makes seman taste better
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
