do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
