508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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