OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
