Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
