I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
