no, he came in my armpit
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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