Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
