please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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