So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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