i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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