things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
ok first of all what the fuck
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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