i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
