She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
