This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
