I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
