so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
