is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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