ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dignity is for republicans.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize