I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
