Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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