It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
