Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
