She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
