why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
