I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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