Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just found a bag of teeth...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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