I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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