my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
