I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
