i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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