I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize