The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the day after is always just damage control
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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