Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
