I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
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Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
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Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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