he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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