I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
