Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
