Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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