you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
