When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
