Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
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