I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize