awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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