I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize