im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
