Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
