feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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