he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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