FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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