all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
