Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
