True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
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There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
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You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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