so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize