i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
