I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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