Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
