Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
