is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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