East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Panties = found
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
