It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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