the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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